Unbelievable transformation…..
So this was me 2 1/2 weeks ago - my work profile picture:
This is me now:
For those of you who might not be up to speed on your Discovery Channel “Lazy Animals of South America” episodes, yes this is a brown throated three toe sloth, (AKA heatheris stuckinbedicus) I know it looks like I’m smiling, but that’s really just the percocet, vicodin and ambien cocktail talking….
And if it’s not bad enough that I’ve morphed into a sloth after just 2 weeks in bed, I’m pretty sure that by the end of recovery I’m going to look more like this: (notice the one foot stuck in equinas position)
So lazy animal transformations aside, I’ve been doing everything in my power to not completely lose my sh%t, but this week has been excruciatingly hard….(I don’t know who is crying more lately, me or my husband….)
As my family and co-workers will attest, I am your classic type A control freak personality and I am soooo not good at ever having to ask for help, let alone not be able to take care of my kids and my family. I know that I am so blessed to have an amazing family: wonderful husband, caring mom, guardian angel mother-in-law, sweet aupair (Kate you are an angel) who have all been taking amazing care of me without making me feel guilty, but when my baby gives me this look because I can’t play with her or chase her around the house…..I feel like I’m dying a little inside
I know that this won’t last forever, but I totally feel like my kids are growing up without me 
I know that this is irrational, but after spending 2 1/2 weeks in bed, I think I’m starting to lose it a little…..I want to be up and doing more, but after reading about how many people seem to have falls in the first couple of weeks, I’m a little freaked out…and unfortunately, when I fall I break something (I’ve had 13 fractures in the last 5 years - bad bones from chemo and glucocorticoids…) - My poor husband should be knighted for sainthood….
Any words of wisdom for keeping your sh%t together and not completely lose it during the Nike commercials? (cocky bastards and their two good running feet…)
Heather
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Are you related to Sarah Palin? There’s a resemblance.
Don’t worry about sloth. The sin of sloth is only a sin when it is practiced with intent; when imposed from outside, it cannot qualify. Sloth is also considered mainly a spiritual quality; therefore, real sloth is in regard to neglect of one’s religious life. In that regard, I am much more slothful when working than not! At work, it’s frenetic and there’s a feeling of “no time”; three months’ with this injury gave me time, time and more time to think about life and “spirits”.
All that sloth creature needs is sportshoes w/ inserts.
heather - Glad that you have a great family to support you through this. To reduce the risk of falling and rupturing my achilles again, I stayed in bed and in my chair with the leg elevated most of the first two weeks after my surgery. rest and let your body heal!
By the way, if you are prone to fractures, be careful with crutches.. don’t use them to go up/down stairs and watch for wet surfaces. The rubber feet on the crutches get very slippery on smooth surfaces with just a little bit of water. I’ve nearly fallen many times, put weight on my cast, etc. Be very careful with crutches.
Hi Heather,
With all the talk about falling and crutches and getting around, I just wanted to remind people about the option of using a knee walker. I used one and found it much easier and smoother to get around. I could carry things, stand at counters and use both my hands, use the sink more easily etc. It was also easier to keep up with my kids and get around the city.
Just my experience. Best to everyone,
hilary13
Heather,
Oh yea, I said the same thing watching Nike commercials. My husband now rolls up the car window if we drive by a jogger because I have yelled “show-off” out the window to so many of them. The thing I did that helped mentally the most was; I found things to do that served other people. I have recently done a lot of typing for someone. This is hilarious to anyone who knows me but it helped me to get my focus off of my situation and on to someone else. Everytime I sit and think about what has happened, I literally get clausterphobic and start freaking out. I can’t think about the things I can’t do. I have to think about the things I CAN do and I build each day on that. One day at a time! Maybe your daughter would love to cuddle with mommy with a batch of great picture books and a cup of hot marshmallowed chocolate. Hang in there! Today I am going to a retirement community and giving free manicures. I can’t wait.
Hi Heather-
I agreed with Smish that doing something else to take your mind off of this is a great idea, like volunteering or helping someone else. I’m sure there are things you can do with your little girl; make her mommy’s little helper to help you with things she is capable of doing at her age. That way she will feel great and so will you. Best!
You’re posts are so funny! Your girls are so pretty! Spread out in ages! WOW! I have an 8 yr old…and she was great in helping out when my 5 yr old needed something..even his butt wiped…she helped do it!
Both of your daughters will be wonderful while you recover..you’ll see they’ll become a little more independent…and they’ll be so careful to not hurt your bad foot. My kids have never yet hurt me, ran into me or anything. They’ll been wonderful throughout. None of us would choose to go through this, but I think it’s helped my kids out. And, they are more sensitive to handicapped people now as well…especially their mommy! Be careful out there on the wild terrain of slippery floors and toys! Enjoy the down time!
Hi Sanfrantourguide-
I personally don’t see the Sarah Palin resemblance, but I’ve heard that from a lot of people (my husband, people at work, old lady at the shoe store - sniff, the good old days when I used to go out and buy 2 shoes….) I wasn’t so sure at first that it was a compliment, but my husband wants my brother-in-law and me to be McCain and “VP Cougar” for Halloween, which could be fun….but I know I could never be as good as Tina Fey!
Heather
First of all, sloths are cute (I personally believe that characterizing a person’s laziness as “sloth,” and furthermore suggesting that sloth is one of the 7 deadly sins is the most egregious example of slander. If I was an attorney, this is a case I would try on behalf of sloths. Pro bono. Alas, I’m not an attorney).
Now, I don’t want to start any controversy here, but you are far more attractive, intelligent, and rational than Sarah Palin. Take it from this Joe Twelve-Pack (apparently the guys in Alaska don’t know how to drink).
Congratulations! You’ve (finally) arrived at the useful/practical advice portion of this comment.
1. The best way to combat the helpless/emasculated feeling generated by Nike commercials and other examples of people enjoying their wonderful health is to do something, ANYTHING that makes you feel like you’re making strides toward a return. I don’t know exactly what you are capable of doing in your current state, but you have to find something and do it. Get 2-pound dumbbells and do curls and military presses with them. Do sit-ups. Flex. Whatever. But find something that is reminiscent of the behavior of a physically healthy body, and do it.
2. If you’re crazy bored, write. Oh wait, you’re doing that. Great work! If that’s not enough, read. Nothing (legal) takes you out of your real life surroundings like a great work of fiction. I’ll send you a small collection of some recommended works if you’d like.
3. Regarding the guilt over being unable to play with your daughters… You need to be creative about your interaction with them. Go to the kitchen, and you instruct while Older K cooks. Or… um, I can’t think of anything particularly creative to do to entertain Younger K, but I’ll ruminate a while and get back to you.
4. Finally, when all else fails and you feel like you’re going to go berserker, consume a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Oh yeah. That’s the stuff.
Heather, sorry to hear about your injury, are you sure your husband did not play a role in any of this?
He looks a little like Barney Rubble, and you of course like Betty, but really I think he may have been tossing his rocks at you or something!
I would hold Josh soley responsible for this, not the fact that the stairmaster, or stepping tool you were using was set too fast or the fact that you just may be injury proned. Blame it on the man!
Hope you feel better soon!
Big AL