Summer of No Fun

Yep, two shoes. One on each foot.

Just started today…so a little wobbly, but yikes it feels good.

Slept last night without my boot or a cast for the first time in 14 weeks. Oh my god.

Was cleared at Monday’s post-op with Dr. H to start wearing two shoes (at home at first), to ditch the boot for sleeping (yay) and to swim (with waterproof bandages over the scar…little bit at the heel end still scabbing over). He feels the tendon is where it should be after 14 weeks, and the scar is good for 6 weeks. So I feel like I have finally reached the beginning of the end of this journey. I know there is still a long road ahead, but I am glad to have turned a corner…new scenery at least. Don’t see Dr. H for another month. Will miss our visits, but nice to know I can go out in the world without him! (And I am sure he won’t miss me and my incredible wound-that-wouldn’t-heal!)

LOVE the new PT clinic I am going to. Two times this week, and already see progress. Mostly the same types of exercises that Kaiser was recommending I perform at home, but much more variety and better assistance. Just an example: one exercise that targets the calf muscle had been shown to me at Kaiser, so I had been doing it at home for two weeks…without ever engaging the calf muscle! When I was shown how to do it properly at Active Care, the entire experience changed…the AT engaged (I could tell because I felt like throwing up) and it was very clear how to do it the right way. I am a true believer now, if there was ever any doubt (there wasn’t). Also, Kaiser recommended I begin standing on tiptoes (what is that called?)…two feet together, the day after being cleared to come out of the boot. Active Care recommends waiting until the calf is a little stronger…so definitely some differences in the two PT protocols.

So onward in two shoes…but one hitch. The new PT also recommended that I use two shoes with crutches for a while, to avoid more stress on my good AT, which has been bothering me since I started walking a lot in the boot w/o crutches. Just hate using the crutches at home…same old same old, can’t carry anything, move around slowly, kitchen stuff is a bitch. But the shoes, the shoes. Love feeling a little normal for a change.

Mr. C returned the knee walker yesterday…little D was so sad. He wanted one last ride. He is already waxing poetic about all the good times he had on it. Remember that…mama?

Went back to work yesterday.

Really don’t need the crutches anymore in the house…still like to take them with me out in the world for uneven surfaces and stairs. But I can see that I won’t even need to do that anymore fairly soon. The boot is not the easiest thing to walk in, but with no muscles to speak of, it feels like a necessity at this point. Don’t know when I will be able to manage two shoes…slowly but surely, like everything else.

Had strange and very painful surges in the tendon area last night…probably from spending almost the entire day on my feet. It was so intense late at night that it made my stomach churn with each pang. Weird. Finally calmed down, though oddly the icing didn’t help, and that usually works wonders for me.

I am going to continue my once a week, 30 minute sessions that Kaiser provides as ATR PT protocol. But I have decided to invest in my future by going with a private PT clinic as well. They come highly recommended by a friend who had a serious ankle/ligament injury last year. The clinic is called Active Care and is in SF. They specialize in getting people ready to engage in intense sport after injury. Not that I’ll be entering a triathlon anytime soon, but I was so active before this happened, and I always imagined that as my boys got older, sports would be something our family could do together…skiing, tennis , biking, climbing…my 8 year old is already getting really into all these activities, and I want to do them with him. Seeing as how I can barely walk at this point, I started getting a new wave of depression and anger. So this PT clinic seems to be the right thing for me to do to feel like I am making every effort to get back in the game.

So…a better late than never return after three surgeries since July…wound complications…and a total of 12 weeks NWB.

Look out world, here I come!!

I have finally done it.

“Walked” across the kitchen without crutches.

Between the boot and the swinging arms, I’m just not sure you can really call it walking. That might be premature. And now I have to wear a clog on the other foot to bring that leg up to approximately the same height as the one in the boot. I don’t usually ever wear shoes in the house. And now I need to wear it anytime I step out of bed, off the couch etc. Let me just say there was a moment the other night where I found myself for whatever reason needing to get from one end of the house to the other in a hurry and not finding much to cover up with…I was caught in the act by Mr. C who probably hasn’t laughed that hard for a while. A proud moment. Very dignified.

So, yes, I can get around on two feet in my own special way. I still use the crutches when I go out in the world…as a reminder to myself and others that I am not totally steady yet. To celebrate my new-found sense of freedom, my friend K kindly came and picked me up (still can’t drive) and we had lunch and went to a movie in the middle of the afternoon. Decadent. Vicky Christina Barcelona transported me to another world and the Slanted Door filled my deep craving for crispy imperial rolls and papaya salad. So good.

This was followed by my first PT appointment. Two weeks ago I had an intake appt and was sent home with exercises to do to begin getting some movement back in my ankle. I did them dutifully, and yesterday had good results…more flexibility at all angles measured. This time the PT did some intense manipulations of my foot…alarming at first, but then…the heaven’s opened and angels sang…my ankle felt released from a great constraint, and felt almost normal for about an hour!

Now the thera-bands have made their appearance and I have a new set of exercises to do, in addition to standing (yes, standing) in my bare feet (yes, you heard right, bare feet) holding on to the kitchen counter and swaying my weight side to side and doing mini-squats. Yikes! Are you kidding! This has been the scariest transition for me…bearing weight without the boot. I did it in the office yesterday, but I haven’t tried it at home yet. I know. Wimp.

But seriously, you have never seen such a limb of flab. Nary a muscle to be found, not in the foot, or the calf, or the thigh…you get the picture. I used to have such a nice calf, a nice leg really, it was one of my better features, now that it is gone. Sigh.

So I will continue to walk the walk and do the work…even though the thera-band flex-ercises give me the heebie jeebies. Every time I feel the AT moving, along with all the scar tissue and adhesions, it just about turns my stomach. I guess I just want to stop feeling it all the time, thinking about it all the time. I am ready to move on. Finally.

Oh, did I mention I am going back to work on Monday? Teaching piano. Yep.