10
April
2012

Miserable.

I’m writing this post with tears in my eyes; I’m so unbelievably frustrated, I could scream. Today has been the countdown date for me since my surgery…the day when I would be able to move from a cast to a walking boot, shower normally without a chair and be able to actually get my leg wet, start putting partial weight on my foot, finally be able to ditch the crutches for good, etc, etc.

I went into the doctor’s today SO hopeful, but found out one my my incisions had some leakage, and though it wasn’t serious, he wanted to keep an eye on it before adding any weight. So though I have the boot and have ditched the cast, It still is just as immobilizing and claustrophobic as my cast because I’ve been given strict instructions to never take it off.  I have to meet with him again on Friday, which will determine whether or not I can start showering normally and stuff, but I’m assuming I’m going to be sleeping with it and still using the crutches for a while.

I cried the entire way home and I still am, I know Friday is right around the corner but it’s that weight of the unknown that’s making me really upset. Who knows if I’ll be ready by Friday…he may tell me I need another two weeks, which mentally I’m not sure I can do.  This was supposed to be a new day, I was planning on coming right home and showering with two legs and planning on sleeping tonight without the uncomfortable restriction. Now who knows when I’ll be able to do that.  I know it’s not a permanent thing and it’s just going to take time, but at 24 I’m looking forward to recovering so I can get back to being active, and it seems as though the light at the end of the tunnel is extremley far away at this point.

Also,  can’t start PT for another 3 weeks, which I guess is normal but I thought for some reason it’d be sooner.  Overall, today has sucked.



11 comments

  1. Mitch:

    Hang in there, I also had one little spot left on the incision where a little leakage occurred, this was @ week 7 post op & I had just got my cast off & in a boot on week 6. They cleaned it up & put 2 new sterile strips on the incision. PATIENCE is a big thing now…I am almost at week 9 & let me tell you that no matter what, you will still need your crutches for 2-4 weeks after going into a boot. That’s just how it goes, mabee sooner if you are a quick healer but be patient as you have waited this long already. I cant start PT till week 10 so I cant wait. You still can PWB in the boot while the incision is healing & you will be just fine in a few weeks. This injury blows big time but we need to keep staying positive…! Good luck & stay strong…

  2. ryanb:

    If you’re in a safe environment - for example laying on the sofa with your injured leg elevated on a pillow… what’s the risk in taking the boot off??

    The boot immobilizes your ankle joint- I don’t think it’s doing much for a weepy incision. Starting 5 days after surgery (long before my incision was fully healed) I was spending most of my time with my foot out in the open. I’m not sure what benefit having it locked up in the boot is providing. If you’re up and about, then yes- the boot provides some needed protection to the healing tendon. In an earlier thread, I likened it (while NWB) to a motorcycle helmet. Useless when you’re riding; but indispensable if you’re crashing.

    And, for sure, keep the incision clean and bandaged- just like you would any other cut. But, if you *only* had that (weeping) cut, would you have it fully immobilized in a boot like this?

    I won’t be the one to suggest you go against those strict orders. I know what I’d do though…

  3. jimminyc:

    Hi Victoria, as Mitch says above, patience is the key at this stage. I am just coming up to week 7 and things do improve as time goes by, I am now walking in the boot with no crutches, never thought I would get to this point! I understand your frustration but trust me when I say that patience brings rewards!

    Hang in there and keep strong, keep us posted and we will ride it out with you!! You are not alone in your fight! Take care and good luck Friday.

  4. Tony B.:

    I’m the most negative person on this Board and let me tell you that that isn’t so bad. You’ll get over that pretty easily. You’re young so the healing process will go rapidly. That’s what I try to tell these older people and they won’t have any of it. Plain fact of Nature, when you’re 24 you will heal and when you’re older you won’t. That’s just the way it goes.

    Anyways, FWIW, it’s never too early to start PT. Truth be told, I’m of the opinion you should start PT the day of your injury. Obviously the low impact stuff.

  5. victorialyn12:

    Thanks everyone…Im feeling a lot better now…initially it just seemed so much worse which led to me being overwhelmed. This injury is very mental too, patience is a huge key Mitch you are right about that. I might be the worlds most impatient person which doesn’t do well for me and this injury. I think my expectations were a tad unrealistic, I put a ton of pressure on this date. I’m hoping Friday has better news and at least the leakage has stopped.

    Ryan I’m glad you said that, I wasn’t thinking clearly because I was so stressed out…I’m a pretty strict follower of doctors orders but I figured there really is no risk if in just laying down watching tv, so I took the boot off and let it air out for a while which was awesome.

    Jimminy, Thank you for the kind words, I can’t wait to get to your point, it’ll be the happiest day for me thus far, I just need to keep positive!

    Tony, that is the one silver lining..me being young and hopefully able to bounce back. I’m pretty negative too which I shouldn’t be because in reality I was overreacting to this minor set back. It’s only matter of time, I just hate waiting!

    Once again my spirits have been lifted…I really really don’t know what I’d do
    without all the kind words. Thank you all!

  6. ericbabula:

    I see you already got some good advice, and are starting to feel better. That’s good. Please, try to remember that this is just a short, temporary setback in your long, long athletic career! You’re only 24. You have a good 40 years or more of athleticism ahead of you, if you wish! Now, this little setback is just that - a little setback in the grand scheme of things.

    We’re all gonna have good days and bad days. Keep your chin up. We have to get through and forget the bad days. Celebrate the good days! There will be more good days ahead!

    Good luck!

  7. ultrarunning316:

    Lot of great comments there, and I think we all understand the need to let some steam off. It’s work trying to be positive all the time…Just not possible, but we can live moment to moment. Like you said these things do pass, It’s what I used to tell myself before I went out on a long run that I didn’t want to do…The times going to pass anyway so I might as well get some good out of it. :) I felt like I had a lifetime of lonely days while my wife was at work and my kids at school and all my co-workers were pulling in money and I felt like the clock hands refused to move for me at home…It’s starting to feel like a distant memory for me when really that was just a few weeks ago. Crazy how just hanging in there a little longer can change everything for the better.

  8. HarleyLady:

    Slow down you don’t want to end up like me. At week 8 still weeping incision, applied silver nitrate, 8 days later I had staph and emergency surgery to clean up. WHILE Doc was in there he removed ALL inside stitches so the 2 repairs since thanksgiving were for NOTHING. I’ve been rejecting both kinds of sutures. Now I have a splint like after surgery with a wound vac attached, which woke me up beeping with a seal leak. I’m ABout to loose it…My patience is gone. If I didn’t stay busy with home business with phone ringing and people coming in all time, don’t know if I can take it anymore. Then this AM my husband takes his Harley to work, So Very depressed.. I can’t even call in SICK, have no one to call but myself. I’m 52, not in the best athletic shape like alot of you, All of you that run and ski you know what its like to be out and Free, wind in face. Thats whats its like to ride my Harley, just easier on my back.

  9. sharono'connor:

    Hi VictoriaLyn,

    I shared your enthusiasm when i went with expectations to see my surgeon after 8 wks in a back slab and pair of crutches NWB.

    I too expected to be able to shower, swim and even to some stationary biking for some cardio but i too was left a little disheartend but its amazing a difference a week can make.

    I was told that in a weeks time i could swim. I tried it today and it was just brilliant. Kept the boot on until i got to the pool side and then off it came and in i slid yipeeeeeee.
    Physio for the first time happend yesterday too and that was another milestone. Not much has scared me up until now but this injury has me being very cautious.

    Anyway hoping friday is good for you because we all feed off other people’s success.

    Patience to all

    Sharon

  10. ryanb:

    Just want to wish you good luck at your appointment tomorrow-

  11. mitch:

    Good luck tomorrow! Please update us on yur status. My 10 week appointment is next thursday & I feel my incision is now healed but we will see when the steril strips come off. I am starting to use 1 crutch a few times a day till I tire out the last 2 days & feel I will be walking soon. Can wait to start pt. Hopefully we both will be up & runing around by next month….



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