My Cross To Bear

     Okay, so today I have been crutch mishap free. I have no close calls or scares on the crutches, so in my mind I take that as a sign that I am getting better on the sticks. Oppps, okay I just thought about it, and I guess I should clarify, I did not have any “moving violations”, but I figured out something 2 or 3 times today. I have heard it be said that experience was the best teacher but apparently I was not paying attention in class while experience was teaching and when test time came around…I failed.

    Here’s my situation, I have gotten into the habit of laying my limpy sticks down in front of me instead of standing them up on a wall or on the edge of the couch because they tend to either fall or be a little harder to retrieve than they were to place. At one point I would gently lay down my sticks and take my seat, but after performing some performing efficiency checks on my crutch skills, I figured I could save a nanosecond or two by just bending a little bit and dropping my crutches once I got a couple inches from the floor, I mean it’s not like they are going to break or anything right? Well every single time I do that when I am at home the first crutch always bounces up and hits me right on the ankle bone. OWWWWW.

    You know, speaking of crutches, I think I should go into a business designing aftermarket designer crutch parts. Okay, think about it, how much better would you feel about your limpy sticks if they were sayyyyyyyy, diamond studded? Okay, that may be going a bit far, but perhaps I could fashion some hand cushions in different colors that would match with some of your outfit’s ladies. And for the guys I could put your favorite sports team logo on yours. How about some electric hand warmers for those colder months. Oh, and ever better, how about I put a little sack of some sort in that space under the hand cushion so we would not have to use plastic bags and sweatshirts with front pockets to move our stuff around. Okay, that’s it, I’m going into business tomorrow, I am going to get my daughter bedazzler and get my Fall season crutch accessory line put together.

    You know, I don’t know what is worse; my wife is worrying about my foot, or the 80 concerned people in my department who have a comment about my medical care every time they pass me. If I am sitting at my desk and my leg is not up I hear, “Shouldn’t that leg be elevated”? If I stand in one spot talking too long to someone I have a habit of lowering my injured foot on the floor with my toes bent so that  I am not putting the pressure on my Achilles, so if someone see’s that they tap me and tell me that I should not have my foot touching the ground. I am starting to think my wife has made some calls into the office to have these people harass me. I guess it’s cool to know that people care, but I can’t catch a break at the office. To make matters worse, I have told my wife that she is acting like my mother worrying about me like she does, so guess who is coming to visit tomorrow and staying through the weekend…………MY MOTHER.

    With that being said I am sure my doctor will be receiving a lot of questions from her when she takes me to get my stitches removed. With that I am also sure I will need to get her clearance to even sit down and type on my laptop. Oh well, I guess I really won’t be getting to drive, hobble, hop, or anything else for a couple days, and that probably a good thing for me. You know, the biggest issue I have with this injury is that if I do get back to 100% I will always have that injury in the back of my mind and that will prevent me from having fun running around with my kids. I have heard from a few people that I will never be at 100% again….ever. I don’t like to hear that but I guess it should just give me motivation to do me PT and keep up on my strength training once I am cleared for body building workouts again. What have you guys heard about getting back to 100%? I have to go now, Mom is coming tomorrow morning bright and early on her plane and I am sure I will have a curfew for the rest of the weekend. I can hear her right now, “If you want to heal you need to get your sleep”. ARRRGGGGGG.      Till the next post….