Obstacles and Opportunities

2 weeks ago,  I went for my eval 6 weeks after getting my boot off. I was doing PT about 2 times a week with some exercises at home. My therapist seemed a bit conservative but I was a bit ambitious so I was doing calf raises (no weight) at home about 2 weeks before I started doing them in PT. Anyway, I went to my doc and he said "You can run again. You can’t hurt that thing anymore." I almost fell off the table! I did know that my AT was getting stronger, but I wasn’t expecting that. That night, I ran 1.25 miles. It wasn’t a lot, and I wasn’t exactly breaking sound barriers, but it was the most grateful 1.25 miles ever. I called my doc a couple of days later and to ask if I still needed PT if I was working out on my own. He said no, so that’s a positive. I was paying a $25 co-pay every time I went. I’m not 100%, as my scar still hurts some, but I’m in much better shape than I was. I didn’t seem like I would ever walk again, what to speak of run and jump.  Grateful is  the word of the day.

I have been waiting for this day for 3 weeks. As I mentioned previously, my AT has been feeling good and I thought I would ditch the crutches today.  I went to the Doc today with my stinky boot and he checked things over and said "Are you ready to get rid of that boot?" Of course! He said I was good to go and would was ready to start PT. He told me not to "go nuts" but said I was able to swim, which is good because, I was hoping I would be better before the end of summer so I could take the family to the beach. I came home and threw my crutches in the trash. Today is a good day indeed!

…my AT feels really good. For the past week and a half, I have been able to get around quite well. I barely use my crutches anymore and I can cruise up and downstairs with my boot on. I don’t sleep with my boot, so when I get up at night to go to the bathroom, I am able to get there and back without anything. I can stand (without the boot) with virtually no pain, although I am not doing jumping jacks or anything like that. BUT, I am putting weight on it.  The scar looks good, feels good, and his healing nicely. My AT is tight, but I am doing the ABC exercises that the Doc gave me.

So why am I scared? Here’s where the issue of comparisons come into play. Some of my online ATR buddies here seem to be "doing" less after a longer time in recovery. So I am not sure if I’m overdoing it or not. I’m not sprinting or anything, but I am "doing" more because it just feels A LOT better. My Doc did say I shouldn’t really go without the boot, but she said I could get around sometimes without crutches if I wanted. I go back on 8/3  and she said I would probably be able to ditch the crutches and perhaps even the boot–at 6 weeks! So I feel a little nervous but I feel like I should be further "behind", not necessarily behind others, but it seems like even my own recovery should be progressing slower. I’m certainly NOT complaining, but I am curious. Thoughts?

I’ve always wanted to ride in a motorized cart at a grocery store. I never wanted to have a disability but I like riding round in things–golf carts, go-karts, bikes, dirt bikes; you name it. I like all "carts", even if they only go about 1/3 mile per hour. Every time I head to Target (or any major store), I make a B-line straight for the carts. I’ve had some interesting episodes, like the time in Walmart when I knocked down a whole end cap. The associate, said "Some people can’t drive those things." Another time, I got one with a low battery, and got stuck in the middle of Home Depot. My wife raised an eyebrow when one time, I had to much stuff to fit in my basket, so I grabbed a shopping cart and pulled it behind me. I this all seems silly, but I need anything I can to keep my spirits up right now. Watching runners, bikers, and other athletic enthusiasts has been tough lately. Motorized carts are about extreme as it gets for me right now.

Since my ATR, I have been blown away by insensitive some people can be. My coworkers call me everything for "Gimpy" to Hop-Along." I hear at least one joke every day. Someone even hid my crutches when I was late for an important appointment. It seems like people think it’s "funny because" I’m not permanently disabled. Would they make light of someone who was permanently on crutches? Doubt it. Permanent or not, it’s still not easy to do a lot of things. If I forget something in another room, it’s such a hassle to go back and get it.  Then these are the same people who turn around and ask "How’s the leg?" Ummm, like you actually care?? I think this post will go into the "emotional rants" category, because I can see that since I am finally sharing these incidents how much it pisses me off. I’d love to hear how/if others are dealing with this.