I want a maid or a physiotherapist to move in…..

The husband is fine, his attempts at putting on or removing a compression sock when I am in too much pain defy belief and have so far defied re-rupture, but I want a servant, someone to make drinks I can’t yet carry, food when I’m in pain, etc. They should if applying be part psychologist and part physiotherapist, qualifications in both good. Access to pain killing drugs good too. Went to friend’s house mid-week. Sat down and announced ‘OK, hun, forget the coffee, most important thing is Do you have any drugs?’! She thought I meant illegal ones bless her…Actually after half lifting me out her house she probably is now taking them too….
One day, usually correlates with physio days, I feel ‘yeah, walking can’t be far off’. Usually day ends by a milestone being reached, like walking without sticks round house three nights ago. Then its more pain inbetween, lots of feeling my ankle for possible spongy achilles(!), alternating between resting too much and swearing and just putting up with the pain. Then its physio again. This has become my life. I live vicariously through my friends and their hangovers, relationship problems, gym work-outs, etc. I try to focus beyond this point to my holiday (so far the physio is not invited but theres still time…) and buy clothes I can’t then stand up to put on. Girls, admit it, who else has not shaved legs since R day? I would rather have a 10 pound baby than suffer this pain, at least they do come out somehow. I lose everything because am too focused on the foot to remember where it is.
If my husband is not back in 15 minutes the advert goes out for the live-in servant/therapist! Applications welcome, must be able to cope with and best of all, fix, messy house! Sex unimportant (this said with feeling), can be male or female. Ability to understand glasgow swearing is a bonus. Pay is minimal. There’s a nice cat and a 6 year old light sabre fiend. Don’t all fight over the job….

One Response to “I want a maid or a physiotherapist to move in…..”

  1. I admit, I didn’t shave my right leg until I started PT, but I continued to shave my left leg the whole time except for the first 2 weeks post-op. I think I was MAD at my right leg. Then when I started shaving it I left a wide swath around the incision, like I was afraid I was gonna burst open or something. Thanks for the laugh, and send any surplus applicants for the maid/PT you get my way :)

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