np13’s AchillesBlog

Have not written in a little while so thought i’d update.  Have been in my 3rd cast, now  “walking cast” for the past week or so.  At last week’s appt which was 4 weeks post-op, was told that I could begin weening myself off of the crutches, though was not really given much guidelines re a timeline, so the next day (wednesday) I did a lot of “walking” w/the crutches, just to try and get the movements down and get my body/leg used to bearing weight again.  Thursday I did this again, but began “testing” myself by taking some steps w/o use of the crutches (I think I did as many as 40 that day) and then the next day was walking around completely w/o the crutches and have been w/o them ever since.  It is GREAT to be up and walking and able to carry things and regain some semblance of normalcy in my life.  The hardest thing has been trying to wak “correctly” w/this cast on as i’ve found that, when I take a step w/my bad leg, the cast pushes against my upper shin/right below my knee, and forces my knee backwards which then causes me to take a step w/an almost straight leg… however, the more and more I walk, the easier it is getting.  Was able to go trick/treating last night w/my 2 young kids which I had been looking forward to, though am paying for it somewhat today as my calf has been very tight/sore today, though i’ll trade the pain for the increase in ability to be active any day.  I have also been able to get back into the gym which is great, and was even able to ride a stationary bike for while yesterday, w/a good degree of tension (15 on a 0-20 scale)… hopefully that won’t harm my healing tendon… 

As far as I know, the plan is for me to finally get out of this cast and into a walking-boot next week.  For those who have transitioned from FWB in a walking cast to the boot, was it hard to make this transition?  Did you find it easier or harder to walk in the boot?  Only reason i’m asking is that i’ve noticed that, though cumbersome, the cast actually provides quite a deal of protection and really absorbes a lot of the tension from the walking motion, so am just worried that my body is relying on the cast too much and am wondering if FWB in the boot is going to be difficult… also wondering if i’ll need to be bringing my crutches w/me to my appt next week just in case?

can anyone speak to the transition from walking cast to boot an if this was a difficult transition or not (esp. in terms of “ease of walking.”)

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so, 2 days ago was put into a “walking cast” which, as most of you know, is really just a regular fiberglass cast that has a little “shoe” that you can attach to the bottom.  doc gave me the ok to ween myself off of the crutches.  so now that i can weight bear, i’ve been “practicing” walking as much as possible and have even  (today) been able to take up to 40 steps w/o use of the crutches, YES!!!  however, i have noticed that walking in this thing is EXTREMELY awkward.. partially due to the height difference between the walking cast and my “good” leg, but partly because of how it works to walk in this cast.. it’s almost as if, when i take a step w/my bad leg, the cast (which goes all the way up until JUST below my knee) acts to push against the upper part of my bad leg when i step, almost causing my kneee to buckle from the pressure of pushing against the cast (hopefully this is making sense).  i guess i’m trying to figure out if this is “normal”, or if maybe it feels weird on my “bad” knee because that leg is so weak from being NWB for the past 4 weeks and so, even though my knee wasn’t injured, it is still not used to walking and so it is just wierd all around w/that bad leg.  i tried walking on the grass for a little ways, and that seemed to help a little, but was still awkward.  the good new is i have very little, if any, pain in my bad achilles when walking, so that’s a victory in and of itself.  can anyone comment on if they found walking in their walking cast very wierd/awkward?  it’s almost as if i’m more worried about the knee on my bad leg now from how much it buckles when i take a step, and i’ve NEVER had any knee problems. 

please comment if you can relate or have any suggestions. 

thank you all MUCHO in advance.

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…  had my first post-op visit 3 days ago (2 weeks after surgery).  had the cast sawed off (wierd experience in and of itself) and got to see my “wound” for the 1st time… whoa, that was wierd.  unfortunately also learned that they had closed the wound w/staples, which meant i would get to experience having those removed which was not much fun at all.  i guess my particular rupture was pretty “high” so my wound is about 8 inches long.  the doc. said that the wound seemed to be healing “pretty well” saying that i was about “70%”  healed.  said that there was one spot that hadn’t quite closed and that my skin looked a little “wet.”   i have been VERY good about not getting my cast wet (have only been taking baths w/my cast wrapped in garbage bag though have gone to the gym 2x and worked up a sweat, so don’t know if the “wet” was d/t the sweat from going to the gym, or just normal.  the doc didn’t seem to be too worried however, though gave me mixed messages re whether it is ok for me to work out saying “as long as your body feels up to it” while also saying that it’s important to try and keep the wound are dry… so i’m not sure what to do.  this sitting around/lying around all day is honestly driving me crazy.  it is pure torture for me, someone who is used to and thrives on physical activity.   i would rather be in constant pain but be able to by physically active than this torturous sedentary lifestyle that i’ve had for the past 2.5 weeks.  though i know that it is good for my recovery, i feel like i am just wasting my days away lying on the couch watching anything sports-related and dreaming about the day when i’ll be able to participate in those activities again. 

after examining me, the doc. decided to put me in another hard cast with no weight-bearing for another 2 weeks, which was quite a disappointment for me as i had initially been told that i’d be in a cast NWB for 3 weeks, then a WB cast for another 2-3 weeks, then a boot.  the only consolation is that i will supposedly be getting either a  boot or “a removable cast” (not sure what that is) at my next appt in 2 weeks, and i’m assuming i’ll be able to start weight-bearing then.   i swear, this recovery process is like a non-stop mental battle between knowing that i need all of this rest and inactivity, but also needing/wanting/craving physical activity.  and while i want to do everything in my power to be able to regain my active lifestyle, i also don’t want to do anything that is going to hinder my recovery or even set me back.  i honestly don’t know how those who experience multiple ruputures/reruptures are able to do it… doing this once is terrible enough, so i can’t imagine having to do this twice or even more… not sure i could do it. 

as others have mentioned, this whole experience HAS put things in perspective for me and has forced me to realize/be greatful for the smallest things that i’m unable to or have a hard time doing currently… even things such as simply walking a short distance while carrying something,  going to the bathroom, helping out with little things around the house, walking up stairs, all of these things that i can’t do currently.  probably the hardest/worst part of it is how this has effected/limited the things i’m able to do with my 2 young children (3 and 6).  i am used to being a very active dad w/them and being able to do things like running around w/them, playing sports w/them, wrestling and rough-housing w/them, and not being able to do these things is heart-breaking for me.  i feel like i’m letting my kids down, even though i know that eventualy i’ll be able to do those things again.  it’s just tough seeing your 6yo come up to you and say “oh yeah, i forgot” w/a sad look on his face before saying “i was going to see if you wanted to come out and play catch with me, but i forgot about your leg”… makes me tear up just thinking about it.  i can’t wait until i’m able to actively play w/my kids again, and do things like pick them up in the air above my head,  carry them up to their rooms when they fall asleep downstairs, help get them in/out of our car.  i mean, my whole family has been great about this whole thing, my wife has been very patient/encouraging w/me and has had to take on all of the household duties that i used to take care of, which is tough in and of itself because i know that it’s tough on her but she’s not going to let me know it.  she has just been awesome.  my kids as well, my 3y.o. helps out as much as he is able, and my 6 y.o. has really turned into a great “nurse junior” and is always trying to figure out how he can help me out, if i am ok, and what he can do to make me more comfortable.  and though it has been nice to see his concern for me, it also makes me worry that this whole experience is “robbing” him of the fun of his childhood at this present time… i know that’s probably being overly dramatic, but that’s an example of the constant battle of this whole thing.   though some might say it is nice to be able to lay around and have people bring you food and take care of things for you, i hate it. i really hate having to ask my wife to do the littlest things for me, hate the fact that i can’t go into the kitchen myself and make myself something to eat/drink and carry it to the table for myself.   though i know this is not accurate, i at times feel like such a burden to my wife/family.  i really hate having to ask her “can you bring me my pillows,” “can you bring me something to eat,” “can you bring my my ice” etc.  all of it just makes me long for the days when i can do these things for myself.   we have also had many friends who have been just great through all of this, bringing us meals, lending us things that we need, volunteering to mow our lawns, things like that that i am SO greatful for.. really, anything that helps my wife out and makes this a little easier for her is so appreciated. 

ok, well this has gotten a little longer than i expected, so i should probably wrap this up… right now i’m sitting in our “toy room” typing on this laptop that a friend has kindly lent us listening to my wife play w/the kids.  all of my energies curently are being spent trying to “will” my leg to heal so that i can hopefully soon begin weight-bearing and walking again. w/halloween approaching, i find myself wondering if  i’ll be able to go trick/treating w/my kids.  i know that there will be “other halloweens,” but i also am acutely aware of how quickly time passes and kids grow up and i don’t want to miss a minute of any of this.  seeing how quickly they grow up only serves to intensify the desire i have to ”soak up” these moments w/my kids.   one of the other issues/questions that i am currently struggling with is whether to try and get back to the gym in the next couple of days or not.  i LONG for the physical activity and the workouts go SO FAR in improving how i feel physically, and more importantly, mentally/emotionally.. if only for a couple of days.  then again, i worry about how much i sweat and the sweat getting in my cast and delaying my recovery.. it doesn’t seem to have so far, as i mentioned i went twice between my surgery and my first post-op and nothing bad seemed to come of this, but i just don’t know… my body craves/needs some sort of physical activity, or maybe even more now that i think about it, my mind does just as much.  i have tried doing pushups on the floor of whatever room i’m in, or dips (tricep dips) on the cough/chair, but that just isn’t the same as being at the gym… i guess you could say i’m addicted to working out/the gym and going through some nasty withdrawals… if  anyone has any guidance re. this current struggle, i’d definitely appreciate it.  i’d also love to know if there are things i can do in my current state to “speed up” my recovery… i wonder if i should be wiggling my toes more/less, if i should be pressing down against the bottom of  my cast w/my foot (almost in a “pressing the gas” type of motion) to help stimulate my calf/achilles, or is that something that is going to “set me back”… i guess that’s one of the biggest issues we all have to face isn’t it… the delicate balance between maintaining/regaining one’s movement/strength vs not pushing things so hard that it effects your recovery or sets you back…  damn this is torture.

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