May 28 2013
Hi Everyone ~
Well, countless times I dreamed about writing this specific post & at times I thought it would never come, but I’m finally here. And, considering I haven’t written since last August ~ it’s even more surprising … but, obviously this past weekend was a big milestone for me & I’m happy to report that Sat 5/25 was the 1 year anniversary of my achilles tendon repair surgery ….
Fri 5/25/12 .. last year during Memorial Day Wkd ~ I had surgery @ 8am to repair my fully ruptured achilles tendon. That first weekend was a blur to be honest ~ but, the past year has had it’s ups, a lot of downs, curses, tears & triumphs as well. I meant to post on the actual date (this past Sat 5/25) ~ but, I played golf in the afternoon (walked 18 holes) & then chose watching “Game of Thrones” episodes Sat night instead of opening my lap top that was sitting right next to me … To be honest, I was a little ambivalent about the anniversary. It did mean a lot to me ~ but, because I am pretty much back to a normal physical existence, it’s almost tough for me to re-visit the last year & re-live some of the pain, frustration, depression, etc that I’ve experienced w this injury. But, if you’ve read my past posts, u know that this website has been very cathartic to me, mainly emotionally, and it’s been great to connect to so many people across this country who were going through the same travails as me at the same time. So, I think it is important to check in on this milestone .. even after 8 mos. of being MIA. The people who took the time to read my past blogs deserve an update on my 1 yr anniversary … and, the people who stumble across my blog who are in the earlier stages of their recovery, can prob use this post as evidence that they will eventually get better .. even though many times it doesnt seem that way … again, read my earlier posts … I was prob one of the more depressed patients out there. But, here I am ~ a few days removed from my one yr anniversary .. as living proof that your achilles will heal & your life will return to normal.
As far as my injury goes ~ mainly the only thing I deal with is soreness now … and, that I think is very normal. I walked 18 holes twice this wkd .. I’m going to yoga tonight .. I walk in the park .. eliptical … I go to my trainer again .. I take spin classes & yes, I am back to coaching my kid’s lacrosse teams ~ which is how I originally ruptured my achilles on that fateful day, 5/19/12 .. over a year ago. Now, I do have to tell you that I am making certain concessions to my recovery, etc .. because the last thing I want on this Earth is a re-rupture. I am 42 yrs old & I am staying away from tennis for now .. drills @ lacrosse where I have quick starts & stops ( I did the orig injury during a keep away drill btw coaches & kids) … paddle tennis …. running, etc … just anything that I think may put a lot of torque or pressure on either achilles. Maybe I’ll feel diff in a year ~ but, I am still going to take my recovery pretty seriously & try to get another year under my belt before I go back to certain things (skiing also) … To be honest ~ I’m pretty happy I can walk 18 holes & deal w nothing more that some mild soreness. A few weeks ago after a lot of golf, I did bust out the Ice Water / Compression cast & put on my compression stocking & elevated my leg all night while watching TV bc the swelling / soreness was pretty severe .. but, it went away & it was actually a nice trip down recovery memory lane to get the apparatus out again .. who knows, maybe Ill get one of my walking boots out in near future just to put it on again & give it a spin ? Now, that would def bring back a lot of memories … Can’t go any further than that bc I threw out my crutches as soon as I could bc I hated them. …. So, other than soreness, the other evidence of my injury is the still healing skin from my dual open wound situation. The 2 open wounds are def different in color than my mature skin (purple mainly) and are still in the recovery process … no danger of reopening, but u can def see that there was prev trauma in the area … my scar (incision) has healed nicely & I still have a pronounced bump on heel where the achilles was bundled. So, like I said ~ I still have some improvement to be made aesthetically in the area, but functionally ? I am good to go other than normal soreness & self imposed caution. All pretty much where I hoped to be after one year …. Thankfully.
So, when I first signed on here today to do this post ~ I was actually surprised that I hadn’t written here since August .. and, not surprisingly that was when I went to 2 shoes and really started to make some progress. So, I’m thinking that maybe I equated my blog w. a time period in my recovery process where I was really in bad shape or at the very beginning of the journey .. and, that’s true .. just go back and read my posts on here .. I wasn’t in good shape & I was pretty pissed off. So, I think that as my recovery took off after August, not documenting it here was my way of leaving all the bad memories behind. Kind of like when you get out of a bad relationship, you’re not really looking to keeping mementos around from that time in your life, etc … I guess some could argues that documenting the progress would triumph over all the earlier posts when I was down in the dumps, etc .. And I don’t disagree with that .. but, knowing myself, if I didn’t go back on this blog from early Sept to today, it’s because I wanted to insulate myself from the stuff I wrote & felt .. because in reality, it all sucked. I have never been as depressed / angry in my life than I was at certain points early in the game after my surgery. Try “Why me” times a million. I didn’t even go back & read my past posts today … But, I am glad I’m writing this now ~ because I do want to document my recovery now .. and especially this important 1 yr milestone. I want the people who have read my posts to see that “I went through hell & kept going” & am now in such a better place … and, I want all you people who still have casts on .. walking boots on .. or are on crutches .. to know that your day will come .. and, it is sweet ! You will get better & you will be a better person for this experience .. a stronger person who will hopefully face adversity in your life in the future with a new sense of purpose based on the adversity & experience of this devastating injury that we have all shared together. I know it seems like you’re all alone a lot of the times dealing w this horrible injury .. but, there is a community of us out there .. and we are all together .. and, by writing this & sharing my thoughts, I hope many of you can take something of what Ive said & use it in your own journey’s & recovery process.
Like I said earlier ~ this blog has been very cathartic & helpful to me .. and, what that really means is that all of the people on this website who have connected w me .. and, all of the people who’s stories I have read & gained inspiration from ~ are what has made the difference … and, that’s pretty special .. to have countless people that I will never meet make a difference in my life is something I will always cherish. I have learned a lot about myself through my own recovery & the travails that came with that .. but, the most important things I have taken from this injury have come from all of you .. and, for that I will be eternally thankful ..
Thanks everyone for taking the time if you read this .. I wish you all the best on your recovery & I keep you all in my prayers always…. Take Care.