Kicking Back - From Torn Tendon to Black Belt

I hope all of you had a restful and healthy christmas and new years.  I spent some time on new year’s eve thinking about what 2009 meant to me and what I wanted for 2010, and I thought I’d share with all of you:

Lessons from 2009:

1. You can’t plan your life. I entered 2009 after recently getting over a month of mononucleosis and a consequently horrible semester at MIT.  The only thing driving me was wanting to make up for missing a semester of taekwondo by winning every match I could.  At the first tournament of the year, I got kicked in the face - hard.  Since I forfeited that match, my team wasn’t able to advance in that division and I was pissed off.  I argued with the medical staff until they agreed that it would be ok for me to participate in the next match (you can spar in 2 divisions).  I entered that match angry, annoyed, and ready to kick some ass.  About 30 seconds later my left achilles tendon snapped.  I didn’t have to be in that ring - I chose to be in that ring.  I didn’t choose what happened 30 seconds later.

2. Life is what you make of it. I could always look back on this injury as a horrible and painful time in my life, and whenever confronted with a difficult situation I could laugh to myself and say “hah, I’ve seen worse”.  But I realize now that this was not the lesson I gained from this year.  When confronted with new difficult situations, I don’t look back at this year and say that I’ve seen worse.  I remember a time in my life when my body was weakest but I found that my mind and my spirit were stronger than ever.  I will always remember 2009 as the year I learned that I can do anything.

3. Sometimes you need to ask for help. I learned something very important in the 5 weeks when I couldn’t carry my own food tray, lift my 20 lb. lab kit, or make it to class on foot.  For the longest time, I had been all about personal will power and the ability to overcome obstacles on my own.  But living in one’s own world can get very lonely!  There is something beautiful about being weak - it shows you how kind people innately are.  I made so many friends while on crutches, whether it was the MIT cops who drove me to class, the kind EE Lab attendant who would carry my lab kit the 20 feet from the locker to my lab desk and cheer me on, or my fraternity brothers who put my roommate’s couch on a 10 foot loft and put my bed on the ground so I could sleep in it and gave me a slow clap every time I made it up the 48 steps from ground floor to my room.  People are amazing - ask someone for help and you’ll see what I mean.

Goals for 2010:

1. Awareness. My roommate Tim always says “if you can’t measure it, you can’t change it”.  I have gained a ton of weight and I can physically sense the weakness of my body.  Usually when I’ve lost weight it has been uncontrolled and random, but this is not sustainable.  But weight and fitness are a function of exercise and nutrition.  I have no idea about the nutritional content of what I eat, and I have no regular exercise outside of taekwondo practice.  That’s about to change.  2010 will be all about measuring important physical parameters of my life and changing them.  And as a nerd, this will naturally be fun

2. Strength. Weakness is not a bad thing, as I’ve learned and written above.  But I want to see what the other end of the spectrum looks like.  In 2009 I was the weakest I have ever been.  In 2010 I want to be the strongest, both mentally and physically, that I have ever been.  How will I do this?  I hereby commit myself to doing at least one thing per day that strengthens my mind and my body.

3. Results. Most of my education thus far has been theoretical knowledge about how things work and how to take apart and build useful systems.  But one of the biggest things irking me right now is that I have not done something to give back to the world in a tangible way.  That changes this year.  I want to build something, however big or small, that reaches out to the world and helps improve people’s lives, in however small a way.  So by the end of 2010, I want to build something I can be proud of.  Oh, and I’m getting my black belt this year, and nothing is going to stop me.

So there you have it - new year’s resolutions.  I hope all of you, regardless of where you are in your recovery, can take the time to reflect on 2009 and set your own goals for 2010 - whether it’s to walk again, to run again, or to run a marathon. You can do anything if you put your mind to it!