So it’s been a while…… I’m finally walking with no limp
But no single heel raise yet. Calf muscle just cramps big time…..any suggestions for that? Both calves cramp up when I do heel raises can only get to three before they both cramp….night cramps are the worst.
I want to jog, but just scared, I DID RAFT THOUGH AND it was great no pain WHILE RAFTING except the NIGHT CRAMP it was worse than child birth SERIOUSLY
With great excitement and some nerves i speeded off to my first physio appointment last wednesday in my moon boot…meet my lovely physiotherapist who also had done her ATR 20 years ago (she is lovely and we connected really well..she understands that being a full time mum and and the adventure bunny I am that this injury has been not just a physical one but a mental challenge for me but with the right therapy this next part of this journey i can fully heal and get back into my life before…
My physio gave me some gentle ROM exercises to do but also some mental preparness for me to get my head around and that I would see her in a couple of days for the next step…the boot off!
She informed me that my wings will be clipped for a little while as i get used to shoes BUT I WILL BE IN SHOES!!!!…I left excited and nervous.
(We are also watching how my toes are going and see if physio can improve that as i have no movement or feeling in the little three toes so off for a MRI next week to see if there is nerve damage..)
TS DAY ARRIVED…..
To actually be able to stand on two feet and then take those first 4 steps was exhilarating….I felt so encouraged…I cried tears of joy it had been 9 long weeks since being able to take any steps and I finally did it…..I left with an extra exercise added to my therapy and the knowledge that come in about 4 weeks time I will be able to walk unaided.
I never realised how speedy I actually was in my trusty moon boot!!! I AM SO SLOW AGAIN…I know that being in shoes is a huge step, just frustrating that when my physio said “when your wings will be clipped for a time” i did get what she meant I just didn’t really realise the magnitude and that frustration would be there again…..
Its like when the cast came off and the boot went on I thought “YES I can do more..which I could but not straight away…same again when the boot came off I know I will be able to do so much more but NOT STRAIGHT AWAY…and people see me in two shoes and its like “yay your healed..all fixed”…that is the frustrating part….
and the other thing is how much we actually rely on our boot for protection…I am not a nervous person but at the moment I am very nervous when the kids or anyone for that matter comes near me at the moment… and sleeping in the bed with the hubby I wear the liner of my boot more for my peace of mind I think….
Anyway this journey at the moment I am trying to learn trust, patience, and honesty.
Oh the excitment of little things….yes thats right finally my foot is now in the neutral position (after a horrible experience with a different Dr at the hospital for my last appointment on Friday - who didn’t read my clinical notes and thought I was further along the recovery stage and on a different non-conservative protocol and just about flipping snapped my achilles again!!!! thank goodness i screamed and he stopped and listened to me when I finally argued that I couldn’t walk on it without the boot or crutches and I wasnt about to try as I have only just figure out how to walk in the boot without the crutches!!!!! - Also He didnt know the protocol I was on (7 different consultants at hosp so 7 different protocols) so I (ME) had to explain it to him whose I was on and what that was…thank goodness I had a copy on my phone with me….then he couldn’t answer some simple questions for me eg when and where does physio begin…..anyways I have also just finished officially complaining in an assertive way…just incase someone has a similar experience but worse of a result….
So the exciting small thing i hear you ask is?
WELL…I can now wear my skinny jeans…I know that is not much but before I couldn’t quite get my foot flexed enough to get into them in the leg but today I can…YAY i can wear something other than shorts and trackies and the jeans fit inside the boot as my other jeans cant fit over…and the blessing is that the jean leg goes inside the boot so you cant tell that my miscle in my calf is GONE and the skinny jean now looks like baggy jeans on one calf and on my right leg it is nice and tight…..
Seriously why is that people decide or suggest what they think you might like “to do” during this time of reflection and recovery……some of us chicks (and guys) are NOT knitters, scrapbookers, sewers etc….or have been soooo busy that we have put these things on hold and would just jump at the chance to have time to pick them back up again….NO my hobbies are the outdoors, sport, people, you know things that actually require a working achilles tendon…I wonder has a knitter actually done an ATR while knitting (there probably in a random person out there who has and for that I apologise) and I wouldn’t wish this injury upon anyone……I know people are being nice and sympathetic and trying to offer advice etc BUT seriously some people just don’t know ME!
SO I have just begged my husband to bring me home the free tickets that have been sitting on his desk at his work for the stockcars that are on this easter weekend…..lovely hubby that he is he thought I’d like to watch dvds all weekend with him!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO I want to get out of these four walls and brave the summer cold (eg put on a jacket) hobble on the crutches, get in the lift into the stadium, smell the fumes, wear the ear muffs, watch the crashes and feel apart of society that I know is out beyond this home of ours…ahhhh feel better that is out
SO yesterday I began my first day of FWB…..well give a girl a bit of rope and no matter how long or short it is I WILL get every cm out of it I can….Oh the lessons I am learning on this journey!
A bit too much maybe well Im not too sure all I did was have my foot down a little bit more than usual (gravity involved) and use it a bit more so I guess with the ankle and heel not being used much only for PWB for past two weeks got a real SHOCK yesterday poor wee things!
So the ice came out last night AGAIN and I suspect that therapy-ice-elevation-repeat will be the norm for the next little while?
Off to my GP today for him to either clear me for driving or extend the med cert for the taxi for the kids to get to and from school…hoping he will say I can drive but then where am I going to drive to as it not like I can go for a hike or anything like that? I guess to take the kids to and from school will be the start! oh the blessings of small things!
I am 4.5weeks into my ATR conservitive heal and it is a challenge some days actually most days and I get real frustrated which is gutting and real but then I always remember a song called BLESSINGS by Laura Story……(file to big to add on so jump on itunes or tube and have a listen)
there is more to my story on how my ATR happened….I prayed to God big time on the way to my netball game I was broken and just couldnt carry on with the way life was going and was ready to run away I just didnt know how to stop!…I contemplated driving home and not playing that game but I didnt want to let the team down so I drove to netball wiped away the tears composed myself walked in completly shattered…warmed up played all 43 mins of the 45 min game and then POP went my achilles…..for the first few days I was angry at God how why did HE let this happen….4 weeks later I can see that He answered my prayer that morning in a way only God knew that I would be made to be at a complete stop long enough to not be able to run…and actually deal with what was in-front of me and yes it is hard and yes there are many tears, frustrations, realisations, asking for forgiveness in areas that needed to be bought to attention that I just could not run from anymore (because I physically couldnt run from) but they are also His Blessings….it may be hard to understand for some of you…..But Gods hand is upon all of this
Life before my ATR was fine to the outside world as we are very good at putting on masks…well I am a pro at that…it is a coping mechinism from my childhood and it is also one that I put on and use when I feel most vunerable… with an ATR you are VUNERABLE….I had to peel that mask off and I was very very reluctant and still am some days…but I had to to let people in to help me because I needed help…I needed help with day to day stuff like you know and with a family of 3 awesome kids and a hubby we needed help (we dont have family here to help) but I was reluctant to do that as I have been hurt in the past so I have learnt to do it on my own…..so I did very slowly I let people in….it has been hard and hurting at times as my closest two friends who I thought would be there for me weren’t and that really hurt so of course that mask want back on…but God place a chick called Sheila in our life with her husband Mike and they have been a huge Blessing to us and our family…but the biggest learning curve for me is taking my mask off with my husband….another story…
But today if you have the chance listen to Laura Story’s song Blessings…..have a great day everyone!
I am about to get my heel wedge in my moon boot changed tomorrow and once it is settled down I can begin FWB with crutches … I have no idea what to expect? At the moment when I have been PWB and crutchering around which is not lots and lots my foot swells and throbs guessing that is normal…once it is elevated and iced eventually swelling susides…. I know not to expect lots and not much will change just not sure what to expect as I am only seeing the orthotic guy tomorrow not my orthopedic specialist for another 2weeks….so any advice out there?
So 24 days ago I was playing indoor netball and did a complete Rupture on my left achilles!
My current way of life ended right there and then on that court! All I could think of at the time in between the pain and the shock setting in was how am I going to get through this? How is our family going to get through this? All these questions!
I’m blessed to be a stay at home mum to 3 school aged kids…kids who are actively involved in afterschool activities and sport…just as much as there mother is!
I was at the time coaching and playing volleyball (my first love of sport) and also going into schools and teaching kids the volleyball skills voluntairly while mine were at school. I play netball (NEVER AGAIN) and am into anything that is an adventure..white water rafting, kayaking, Ive just recently begun doing triathlons and also had signed up to the Half Ironman later this year.
ALL of it I have had to completely stop! Going from non stop to a complete stop was the a terrifying thing yet in a way I can see an upside to this (making me appreciate the simpler things in life and also how much I was doing that I thought was important but wasn’t really.
Here in Palmy NZ only way of surgery is for reruptures! (which the ortho consultant said could happen once I am out of moonboot at week 12….not reassuring at all so I said I gave it all to him but there was no way he or any of the other surgeons were budging.
so MY treatment is 2 weeks cast and 7 weeks moon boot (moonboot with wedges being decreased every 2 weeks crutches all the time PWB from week 2 and FWB at week 4 onwards (or when I feel it ok). I am currently 3.5 weeks and am only just beginning to PWB confidently if that makes any sense….Moonboot off only for showering and man do I feel vulnerable in there cant wait to have the boot back on yet I loathe the thing especially in bed it is so uncomfortable! at least i can undo straps a bit to ease the pressure off the foot from swelling. Foot to be elevated when not crutchering