Feeling Down and Out
hello all, I have been fairly upbeat and optimistic over the last 15 weeks and not yet even had a good cry over all of this nonsense. My husband is a “suck it up” kind of guy and isn’t particularly interested in listening to me vent about how frustrated I am. In the past week I have found that my upbeat optimism has almost disappeared and I am now angry, frustrated and sick and tired of all of this. I am having significant discomfort now that I am FWB in 2-shoes, and the swelling around my ankle is just ridiculous. At PT on Friday, my physiotherapist told me I am trying to do too much and to rest for the weekend, no exercises, no housework, nothing. I have a bad limp and am walking very slowly, and hurt myself twice this weekend. The first time I stepped on something sharp on my heel and quickly shifted my weight forward onto the ball of my foot. Big mistake, The pain ripped up the back of my leg but no damage. The second time, my husband left the basement door open and I thought the baby was about to tumble down the stairs so I tried to quickly get to the door. Ouch!! Anyway, I am physically exhausted from PT and exercises and feeling like this is never going to end. Am I expecting too much of myself? I have always been an overachiever and thought that I would be much further along by now. OK, I am done complaining now. Happy healing everyone.
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Jenny,
Even though I just posted positively for a change, I feel your pain…..but you should try to not get down on yourself. This is definitely a “rollercoaster of a ride” type injury. We all have the small rewards and the set-backs as well–emotionally and physically. We are at the same time-frame and I too am thoroughly sick and tired of all of this, am also still experiencing quite a bit of discomfort with the swollen, reddened portion of my incision. I would follow your PT’s advice and give yourself a break…..easier said than done, but try to let the things that can wait, wait. I too am walking very slow and still using crutch/cane. I never walk barefoot, mainly because I still can’t get my heel flat on the floor. Maybe try leaving shoes on so you won’t hurt your feet? Speaking of exhausting PT, I’ve got to go now to mine…..just thought I would let you know, you are not alone…..i expected to be further along by now also….but we are, where we are and we’ll all get through this at our own paces.
Marianne
Jenny,
I cannot believe it has taken so long for you to hit the ‘wall’, but rest assured this awful feeling will right itself. You are tired, exhausted, frustrated etc. etc. You must rest a little more until you gain your positive side again. We have all been there and you will come out of it. I could cry for you!!
Take care
Annie
Walking barefoot I still consider a NO-NO unless on the carpet in my bedroom. Outside the room there’s linoleum, etc - so that’s my rule for myself, even though I’m out walking and driving now at 12 weeks. Your husband is what he is, and worn out himself by your handicapp, but still what counts for you both is that YOU recover, and that YOU be the priority for these last few weeks. Take it as EASY as you can, consider it a “call from heaven” to contemplate, think, read, rest and even restore other parts of your health.
I was pretty mad back in June but by mid-July I was heavily into reading and DVD’s - also writing critiques on these books and films at http://www.epinions.com, just to “kill the time” but also to get feedback on my ideas. Travel books are great, e.g. “Fried Eggs with Chopsticks”, about travelling alone as a woman through China and having a HARD TIME - yep, these books cheered me up, that I was in lovely USA.
Michael Palin’s DVD series, “Around the World in 80 Days”, is another one; he’s got trials and tribulations of all types, like diarrhea on an 8-day dhow ride near the Suez Canal. I love this kind of stuff!
Mary
Hi Ladies, thanks for your support. My PT went a little better today after the rest on the weekend. I guess I will just have to cut myself a little slack and ease up for a while. Patience is a virtue!!
Jenny, let yourself get angry - don’t bottle it up. This injury sucks. That being said, look ahead 6 months and think of how you will be looking back at this relatively short period of your life.
Hang in there - there are good days and bad…
Ed
Hey Jenny,
Sorry to hear you’re going through a rough patch. I can understand how it’s frustrating to not be able to do things after such a long period of time. This injury is teaching us patience, that’s for sure. No rushing it. Our body will heal at its own pace, no matter what we want.
Try to give yourself a break and rest a bit. I know it’s hard with the responsibilities of being a mom, among others. But this time will pass…
Shake it off and keep positive!
Shelley
I’m in the same boat as you, minus kids and responsibilities. I too try to remain positive, and in truth a lot of good things have come out of this, but any way I slice it I’m just plain sick and tired of it all. Ok, that was not encouraging. Go team go!
I’m sorry you are having a hard time I’m now at 13 weeks and pretty much independent again - driving, walking (SLOWLY) and with gimp limp. But I know how you feel. Suddenly it will be three months and you won’t believe how hard it was to do anything. Hang in there…it does get better…BUT you should take your moments of frustration and sadness. This is NOT hero’s work. kkdub