I like boots, but this is ridiculous…

Spent a good 5 minutes “jogging” on the trampoline at PT.  Felt like running.  *Huge Sigh*  Feel like the real thing is just around the corner.

Bloggers ahead of me all mentioned those days when you feel like you’ve taken a few steps backward.  Those days when you are long-since two shoed, and you just feel like not nearly enough progress is being made.  That’s today.  My leg is sore, the limp is more pronounced, and the scar site is warmer even than usual.  I came to work in my ugliest, most comfortable shoes… in a suit.  I’m in a mood to complain about it, I guess. 

On the up side, however, I’ve got great PT people and I AM slowly doing more, using more weight in my strengthening exercises.  I suppose feeling sore the next day is a sign of progress…

This was so much easier when it was the THEORY of slow, frustrating recovery!  Thank goodness for posts like Dennis’ most recent–run/walking for 25 minutes!?!  Can’t wait!  Just have to wade diligently through a lot more of this slow progress so I’m ready for that in a month or two.

I’m in that place where no big changes happen.  I mean, slowly building up strength, slowly losing the limp, still feel flat footed, but feeling strong in the tendon and happy with my stretches.  Gotta say, after daveleft and chip both re-ruptured, I took a nice long weekend of light duty.  My need to get back to running is certainly not so strong that I’ll risk that.  Walking the fine line between working it hard enough, but not too hard.

The crazy thing about their ruptures were that they were not done when working out.  And this sounds right to me.  I mean, I have no problem on the eliptical, on the treadmill, on the bike, and when I’m doing freeweights.  I’m focused on my leg then.  Every motion is designed with my leg in mind, and it’s all i can think about.  It’s when you’re NOT thinking about it that accidents happen.  So how do you think about it all the time, when by definition you can’t think about it when you’re not thinking about it… and NOT thinking about it is a product of feeling better and normal and strong and good.  Damn!  What a catch 22! 

So what’s the point?  NO idea.  I guess you can’t be too careful out there.  And you can.  “Do I contradict myself?  Very well, then, I contradict myself.”  Ah, well.  A toast to healing, however slowly it happens.

Went to see the Physician’s Assitant yesterday…  All is well, I’m healing nicely, blah, blah, blah.  But when I told her I hadn’t been to PT yet because I had no prescription, she was visibly shocked.  Duh.  I asked for it twice and was twice told “eh, I see no need for that yet”  by my doc.  Quick script was written.  3x a week.  They sent me downstairs to their fancy-shmancy PT office on the first floor and they were willing to get me in late next week at 11am, which is not a convenient time… as anyone that works 9-5 knows.  Called another PT that my massage therapist works with and they got me in at 6:30am the very next day.  Yay!!!

Had that appointment this morning.  The PT was also shocked that I hadnt’ had therapy yet–at almost 10 weeks!  He was pleased, however, with my ROM, ease of movement, and strength progress.  Thanks to all the posts here that helped me learn about some ROM and strength exercises and the approximate time to introduce those into my life.  My PT wanted the blog website so that he could have a looksie.  Anyway, he stretched my plenty (kind of hurt—but in that good way.  Felt right).  Tells me I can do wall stretches and with the towel to my little heart’s content.  Thinks that I’m ready for strength training immediately, so we’ll start that Friday morning.  My PT had a partial tear on both his ATs 4 and 6 years ago.  Yikes!  But he knows all the tricks, so that’s good. 

All in all, just very relieved to have some guidance.  Felt like cheating to be doing some of those things on my own, but nice to hear from my PT that those were all good things.  He says when I can walk on my toes and jog limpless, that’s when I’ve arrived.  So, I have some goals to reach.  YAY!

Spent the weekend orchestrating the removal of a hand-me-down couch and love seat from one 2nd floor apartment to MY 2nd floor apartment.  This was the first time that I wasn’t the prime mover of my own manual labor tasks, and what a pain to have to find people that could help at a moments notice.  I’ve got some great friends, though, so it all worked out.  But I have a couch now.  I feel so grown up.  My living room has been a tv, tv stand, and a wing chair for long enough…

The rest of the weekend involved all the cleaning, the preparing, the moving of small furniture, pictures, etc. that come with rearranging a room.  It really tired me out.  Anyone else find that they just get tired more quickly these days?  Surely a lot of our energy is being sucked up by the healing process.

Thursday I watched the soccer game for the team that had a hand in organizing.  Wasn’t quite as painful to watch as I thought, since I’d just done 30min on the elliptical.  I guess the idea behind that is that I get myself good and tired and I won’t mind not playing.  That’s my strategy for now.

Tomorrow I have what might be my last post-op.  My doc office really jerked me around.  Called to say my appointment at 8am thurs had been rescheduled for 2:30 friday.  WTF?  I mean, no consulting, just told me that’s how it would be.  I have a hearing that afternoon, so it’s a no-go for me.  Yet, when I called the office to make a change to that appointment, they acted as though *I* was the one being difficult.  Um, WHAT?  She finally asked if I’d like to meet with the Physician’s Assistant, since the next time they could schedule me with the doctor was another 2.5 wks out.  I said yes please!  He only ever just looks at my leg and says, “looks good” for the most part anyway.  As long as this PA can prescribe PT for me, I don’t care.  It’ll be 10wks post-ATR tomorrow, I’ve been walking for almost 5 weeks, Biking for 6, elliptical for 2… I really feel like I need some professional guidance here and I’m itching for PT.  If I have to browbeat this poor little PA girl, I will.  I’m at that place…

The Aflac guy was at work today.  I got a new policy.  Would I have done this 3 months ago?  Hells no.  Dude, I wish I’d had this 2 months ago!  However, I figure it’s good policy to get this insurance, now that I know I’m human…

Got on the elliptical yesterday and rocked out for 30 minutes.  Felt delicious to sweat like that!  Just in time–got on the scale at the gym and it’s worse than I thought, so I need my cardio, STAT!  Of all the things I could be doing while I’m not working out during recovery, eating bad things should not be one of them… but alas!  I am my own emotional-eating cliche.  Anyway, when a girl can jump on the elliptical for 30 minutes, there’s hope!  I’m just a limp and a jog away from pretty-darn normal.

Man, I’m down today.  Seeing that post about the never ending impact of this injury by way of orthotics, and eating pizza like it was my job last night and not having the ability to work it all off at the gym today, and this crazy heat wave and no air conditioner tonight (at least I have ready-to-go icepacks for bedtime), people months ahead of me still limping.  BLAH!!  BOO!!  HISS!!  Plus everyone in my life assuming all is well because I’m back in shoes.  And there’s no good way to tell them the truth…

I think I need a good-old-fashioned drunk.  It’s been a while.

Went to Bodypump for the first time without the boot.  I’d been playing around with some of the lifting exercises and realized that without a bar over my shoulders,  I can do squats without any problems.  And since I haven’t been doing them for 2 months, probably best to start without weight anyway…

So I did the whole 5 minute track, and had very little difficulty.  Can’t squat quite as deep, but that will come with the return of those muscles.  What was hilarious was that for the rest of the class, my thighs were shaking.  Particularly on my ATR leg.  I didn’t realize how little of that motion I’d been doing over the last 2 months.  I mean, I knew there’d be the “I’m not lifting anymore” atrophy, but whew!  The lady behind me had a great view of my vibrating hamstrings and me asked me twice if I was ok.  I WAS.  I’m good and sore today!

Though I’m not any formal PT, it’s great to do some of the old exercises that are non-ATR related.  I feel like all those muscles that were neglected will be helpful in my recovery–strong reenforcements for my ATR as it improves.  Plus, just standing and forcing myself to balance on my bad leg and take weight off the other leg are great.  I feel stronger every day, and in a weird way, less in a hurry to get better RIGHT NOW.  With so many things I CAN do, I’m enjoying the opportunity to do losts of things I wouldn’t have tried when running was my MO.  Biking, pilates, yoga, and my new fascination–urban rebound–a cardio class performed entirely on a mini trampoline.  Yes, a mini trampoline.  An entire room full of people in a class bouncing like morons on a trampoline.  Once you get over how lame and undignified you’ll look doing it, it’s kinda fun!  I’m going to wait til i can chat with my doctor about it first, but I’ve heard of some of the blog folk using a trampoline as part of their PT.  YAY! 

So, little things making a difference, and the pursuit of rehab is very satisfying in its own way.  I’m so lucky to be fascinated by the process!

Walked around Pittsburgh with a couple old college roommates this weekend.  Into the Phipps Conservatory with all those gorgeous plants… endless walking.  Felt pretty good, all things considered.  Tired leg, slight ache, and the ever-present tightness, but still miraculous when you consider how far I’ve come.

The REAL miracle, however, is how fast my left calf went from floppy flesh to actual muscle again.  Whew!  Just a few two-legged standing heel raises and several seated ones and my calf looks like a calf again.  My massage therapist said that from the front, when I was on the table, she had to remind herself which was the injured leg.  YAY!  Of course, there is still a marked difference, but how wonderful to feel real muscle and soreness in my poor neglected calf!  Yipee!!!