I am doing a good job of putting a happy face. People tell me I sound good. I also hear “You’re young you’ll be fine..” But I am not young. Until I can walk I an not sure that I will ever walk again. I haven’t walked in almost 3 months - due in part to the re-rupture problem. I have no idea when I can expect to walk again.
The last doctor visit, a week ago, he really pushed my foot into a lesser angle, closer to 90%, and re-casted. Since then it has been hurting. Not constant but intermitten pain. I called and he said if it impoves with rest you’re ok. I am having a hard time with faith with doctors that don’t have “MRI” vision. “X-ray” would be useless. I want someone with “MRI” vision. How does he know it’s ok? When it re-ruptured they couldn’t tell by looking at it and couldn’t tell by the Thompson test.
I have looked to see what lessons I am supposed to be learning with this situation. I have one brother and two grown children. My son lives in the same city. I haven’t heard from my brother since I told him I was injured. My dad is dead and my mother is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. My son told me that I need to find a solution that doesn’t involve calling him. He is too busy with grad school. And I truly believe he is too busy but he could at least offer moral support. I feel totally abandoned by family.
I have help that I have hired and one good friend that I know from work. Without her help I wouldn’t be here. So I have learned that I must readjust my expectations about family. That I must work to create a network of friends that are my new family. I have learned that I cannot isolate myself. I have always been able to relay upon me to take care of me. I have never been injured or been sick before now. It is devasting to me to need help, ask for it and sometimes not get it. But it is one those thing that I need to pray for the strength to accept.