a lazy new years day brought me back to the achilles blog for the first time in a month+, and i forgot just how much i missed this! though i was never much for posting - it was the comments here early on that always made me feel better. helped me realize i wasnt the only person going thru this. gave me something to look forward to. even a little nostalgia from time to time reading someone’s state of mind at week x when i was at week x+2…
reading today brought every one of those feelings back….and a realization that i need to check in more!
at a little more than 3 months i’m pretty much physically where i anticipated from docs wisdom. i went to 2 shoes just after turkey-day, and oh the joy!!! [dramatic pause] for a while… i was so focused on that milestone from day 1, i didnt prepare myself for the painfully slow progress still ahead. sure, i could drive again [well, right footed - did cheat those last few weeks of boot-dom driving lefty on side streets to run errands], and was free from the boot hassles [on/off, destroying clothes to fit, drying w/ hairdryer after rain walk from bus] - but the return to ‘my life’ didnt happen. still limped like quasimoto. still felt insecure [even more so than with boot] and fragile outside the home. still was isolated socially ['oh you're going hiking - have fun without me', 'it sure is amazing that you golfed for the 2nd time this december [a**hole]‘, ’surprisingly no, i dont feel cool with this cane [jerk]‘]… and obviously a bit bitter!
eventually, a little light shone thru and the state of mind is much healthier, and have come to terms with finding new milestones [more like inch-stones]. still get frustrated from time to time that my ‘normal life’ is far-away, and that i dont always get noticably stronger each day in pt excercises - but when i look at big picture, i do see see the progress.
anyway, back to my original purpose here. just wanted to thank everyone for posting, and reminding me of the pick-me-up this place can be. i never imagined the mental process would be as hard as [if not harder than] the physical in this recovery.
i really do wish i never heard of any of you [for all our sakes!!!] - but since fate laughed that wish off - i can only wish each and every achilles plagued soul here a much deserved healing, healthy and happy 2012!!!